Stop Questioning Black Men’s Masculinity, just because it doesn’t fit into your box.


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So. This week has brought on the major social media debate of the “Romphem” …I think that’s the term, if not please correct me. This debate, per usual of those initiated by Black twitter stirred up important and valuable conversation. HOWEVER, at the same time, triggered some …… underlying tension amongst the parties involved. ( Im sorry I’ve been reading over a ton of contracts lately lol) Ok but no seriously, the conversation on the ” Romphem” the questioning of masculinity in black men became the discussion. I believe the exact quote was ” Society is continuing in their pursuit to emasculate the black men”. Even going as far as to label all men who choose to participate in this trend gay.

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Whew…..Girl. Where do I begin. Ok let’s start with this thirst for any and everything to be deemed the ” Emasculation of the black men” or ” Pushing the gay agenda”. There’s no law or rule book on how or what masculinity has to look like. Nobody owes you an explanation on why they choose to act or behave in anyway. That’s first off, second off and you would think in 2017 we would choose to readily use google as a resource for answers but nevertheless here we are….THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES A MAN GAY IS THAT MAN MAKING THE DECISION TO PARTICIPATE IN SEXUAL ACTS WITH ANOTHER MAN. Male rompers dont make a man gay. There being a gay character on Empire isn’t going to make a man gay. A man exploring different fashion trends or taking interest in personal grooming doesn’t make a man gay. I’m sorry as much as yall want that to be the case. It simply isn’t.

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I think what bother’s me the MOST about this repressive logic is the fact that , this is the reason why men are literally TERRIFIED to explore themselves, and ultimately the reason why we have so many downlow men in the black community. People are scared to live out loud. Even if they’re not gay and they just have a interest in fashion, the majority of our community will place a label on them irregardless. It’s not right. I always say we have to nurture and support our black men in all aspects. It’s important. Ok so in review ( Because I’m sure this post will travel well outside my normal demographic and Im not quite sure how competent you all are) Masculinity and Sexuality are not connected. Masculinity cannot be boxed in. Stop shaming black men with repressive concepts. An interest in fashion does not equate to homosexuality. And lastly. Love Up on these black men. As a black man myself , I can tell you from firsthand experience we don’t get that much as we walk through our day to day life….it’s important that we start to feel it from our community.

Until Next Time.


Here’s what I was Listening to.


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